Hey music lovers...

I'll be singing again at Paul's Place a.k.a Giggers Cafe on Friday, 29th September at 8pm. so come on lah. come la listen to my songs. Nad said my songs fehlong . fohleng or fehlong ah? Either way, Mister Eddie and Miss Tasha Leek will be spreading out the flyers which I will post here as soon as I get them so that U know how to get there. There's a map attached so please laa come, come laah cibai.

I'm not that good at pursuading people. So peoples that's mean u must come. The thing is that is, I'll be singing

1) Inferior (new)
2) Schizophrenia (new)
3) Panic Come again (new)
4) One way (new)
5) Down the Drain
6) Work on Sundays (I fucked it up last week because I had voice fatigue, so i'll
have another go)
7) Rival (again because peoples love the song)

So the thing is that is, pls come ok? And pls dont bring your own drinks and food because they serve food there. It's quite cheap. I think the beer is like Rm1.40 per bottle (hihhihi nampak sangat kencing). That's mean u could also bukak puasa totally pissed listening to my goodest songs.


Why am i speaking like a cross between Wong Ah Beng and a National Oil Company manager? It's because i always thought i am a comedian.

What I'll do is i'll sing crossed eyed.. So watch my eyes while i sing the most heartfelt songs u'll ever listen to. u wont know whether to laugh or cry.

I'll perform as my alter ego, Jimbang a/l Kutek

Next week i'll be Gringgo

The coming week I'll be called Arrnuck Har Rum

Then U can call me Bee Soul

Ciao

Hey music lovers.

I'm performing in an acoustic set this friday night thanks to the persuasive powers of Mr Eddie and Miss Tasha Leek at Paul's Place, Jalan Klang Lama. Thanks also to my boss who told me to stay put in KL for the rest of the week to watch him present our project to Tan Sri on Friday morning. My setlist would be as follows:

1) Smelly Pillow Ballad
2) Rival/My Arrival
3) One thing(new)
4) Work On Sundays (new)
5) When I get Older
6) Only Young Once
7) Wurthering Heights (Kate Bush)

The reason for song no (7) is my recent fascination for Kate Bush. According to Mr Eddie, Kate Bush is the world's first gothic singer. From my research on the net, Kate Bush was a teenage singer/songwriter in the 70s who had a collection of over 2000 songs by the age of 18! She writes songs on the piano and was discovered by David Gilmour of Pink Floyd in the mid 70s. Of course I've always liked songs with complicated chord progressions eversince the days I discovered Soundgarden. I cant write songs with such sophistication simply because I'm not good enough and I dont play the piano. Chris Cornell, of Soundgarden fame wrote on the piano and his only solo album effort, Euphoria Morning, reeks of Kate Bush gothic influence.

I really enjoy listening to 'Wurthering heights' and it's currently on heavy rotation on my I-pod. My problem now is how to sing the chorus line which goes "Heathcliff, I'm Cathy i've come home and it's cold let me into your window". I can't sing this line because in case you havent noticed yet, I have a penis. My first thoughts of improvisation is by singing "Siti, It's Lan, I've come home and I'm sweaty let me into your punani". If i cant convincingly improvise on this song i'd gladfully sing a cover of Paula Abdul's "Cold Hearted Snake" as it's very relevant to my recent going-ons with someone with the same attributes.

What do u guys think? Anyway, anyone who's reading this, u're invited to watch me sing. I will be smoking as much Marlboro Lights as I possibly can so that I can get the smoky rock kapak ramli sarip growl in my gulung parts. I've got a very puny telorless voice and the smoking would prolly help.

Ciao!

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
so the mother spreads her zit infested pussy lips & from the depths of her cancerous cum laden throat she conjers up the darkest, hardest, ectoplasmic flem wad a guy has ever bragged about. she manages to let the mucas slipp past her leperous lips & cascade down her old body eventually finding its self in the cache we call the pussy, but old ma calls it her rot box. seriously it looks like a pile of three week old dead jews in the humid summer heat. she screams to little timmy "get over here & fuck my old rot box"! timmy starts thrusting his undeveloped stupid looking weiner into old ma's stink gash. while this act is taking place pop enters stage left carrying a bucket full of cock roaches. pop proceeds to glue individual cock roaches to the palm of his hands,legs up. after ripping the legs off of the roaches he masturbates. crying & sobbing pop ejaculates in the dogs mouth & exclames,"your my best friend". timmy gets done fucking the rot hole & mother smashes his fucking head in with her craftsman roofing hammer.& farts.
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

Stupid.

Inbred race.

Self righteousness.

Lazy

False sense of importance

hypocrisy

Delusions of grandeur

Greedy

Back stabbing

Judgemental

Stupid???

Liars.

Ugly.

Dirty.

I'm not very good with words. Do you get my sense of humour? Do you know what the fuck i'm talking about?

Hahahahahahahhahahahaha

Hello world!

I've spent so much money for the past 14 days since the my heart was sliced into a million pieces recently. Below are the items necessary for me to numb the pain I'm experiencing.

1. 2 weeks supply of Xanax (for me anxiety attacks) & Lexapro (for depression) - RM250
2. I-pod Nano (to replace the MP3 player which reminds me of the heartbreaker)-RM1190
3. Radio Transmitter for the I-pod (absolutely useless, it only transmitts mono signals in to the car stereo) -RM350
4. Metal cover for the I-pod - RM99
5. A new swatch (I've always been obsessed with Swatchs, the heartbreaker hates 'em but it doesnt really matter anymore does it?) -RM190

Item no 1 has been the most useful of the lot. Money well spent! I hope to get a back-up supply on saturday which will be my follow up appointment with the shrink.

Phil told me the best way to get over a girl is to get on top of another. But seriously, would any girl want to fuck someone in my state of mind? I'd probably have to spend more money to get one to fuck me. Cant afford it mate! Besides I can't even get my willie up anymore from all the stress. I think i've been cursed! I dont want to take anymore medication (Viagra) to deal with that. It might just react with the medication I'm already taking. But anyway, girls out there, if u're reading, dont worry, once i'm over this shit, my all mighty willie will be back at it's best.

Anyway, I have to thank Miss N. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for talking & listening to me, understanding and putting up with my emo shit. You must think that i've grown a pussy after the heart slicing. I owe u an I-pod, i think. I also have to thank Mr E and Miss I (they'll be getting married soon, I'm so excited), I love them alot, I love them more now. They saw me cry, they consoled me, they told me it's not really my lost. They told me it's one step closer to finding the right one.

Oh well..... I have to look at my life from a different perspective. There are alot more troubled souls who would laugh and spit on my face for being such a moaner from being heart broken. Well it's not everyday i get my heart broken man! Dont blame me for moaning.

I'm still Alive!!!!!!!!!!

Frozen in the place I hide
Not afraid to paint my sky with
Some who say I've lost my mind
Brother try and hope to find
You were always so far away
I know that pain so don't you run away
Like you used to doRoses in a vase of white
Bloodied by the thorns beside the leaves
That fall because my hand is pulling them hard as I can
You were always so far away
I know that pain
and I won't run awayLike I used to do
Pictures in a box at home
Yellowing and green with mold
So I can barely see your face
Wonder how that color taste
You were always so far away
I know the way so don't you run away
Like you used to doLike you used to do

THis is not mine. It's by the late Layne Staley of Alice in Chains fame. Absolutely beautiful. an ode to his brother actually.. Way before the heroin addiction. god given talent

Xanax and Lexapro is getting me off the other shit that only worsens my anxiety. and it feels good! if only i can write like this. Daus says i'm very direct in my writing. there's no better way for me to write. I cant get the message across without being direct. I blame it on the malaysian education system. how was I to learn any poetry when Mrs Tan (i think that's her name, fuck where has my memory gone??) gave me 1000 add maths questions for home work everday?