just got back from a trip to my yearly hiding place at a nearby country. I just wanted to forget about this thing that happened to me.

And you know what? I discovered something. Fucking scuba diving is wonderful man!!! Oh my god, after the experience, me and my friend were just talking about how some people who actually work just to pay for their diving trips and now we finally understand why. It's strange how the vast blue sea has this calming effect on me. I've never felt calmer in my life. I mean seriously, i needed that. I have been under a lot of stress and scuba diving was the perfect antidote. It's too bad that I cant do it in malaysia because of the strict license requirements over here.

I also took some risk over there. I rode the motorbike for the first time in my life and really enjoyed it. I also went for the 'fly fishing experience which requires me to be in mid air dragged by a speed boat. I was fucking hysterical!!! :) Thanks nad for inviting me to the trip. I did me good.

Today I'm without a car and I decided that I'm too much in a holiday mood to go back to work. In a bit, I'll go the service centre and fucking pick up my long due car. Those ford bastards are useless as hell. Took them a whole month to NOT fix the wiring problem in my car. I'm feel like fucking shooting the whole place down and torching it after that. That's how pissed off i am about the car situation.

I dont know why all this is happening to me. I feel like I am at my lowest when it comes to human relations. I always seem to bring the worst in people by the most unthinkable means. Is there something wrong with who I am?

The thing that's playing in my mind is like the chicken or egg situation.

Am I so unpleasant to whom I love to the point of driving them mad all the time?

Or

They just had short fuses and I can't take shit anymore?

But when I am not thinking of these questions, I busy feeling lousy.

wow What A Way to enter 2008